19 Months Old

This blog is all about Emerson's mini-birthdays! Until she is home with us where we can celebrate her annual bdays, I am going to continue to wish her the happiest mini monthly birthdays!

I try to keep this blog as happy and light as possible because in the end, it truly is a joyous journey. But lately, I just have to say, this wait is getting harder than I ever imagined it could. I thought it was hard before but now it's just out of control! Sometimes I start thinking Emerson's not real. Because to think that she is and that she's been waiting just a week shy of a year for us to come get her... Well, to think that, it simply breaks my heart.

I woke up this morning with faint images of a dream I had last night. I was in a crowded restaurant and looked down at my phone to see that we received new pictures of Emerson! There were three of them. With excitement I tried to look at them but they were all blurry, and I couldn't really make her out in any of them. I was trying to see if she had grown, or what her hair looked like. Or what she was wearing, and what was she doing. But the pictures were too blurry to see any of that. It was super frustrating.

I feel like that right now. I want so badly to see her and be with her. But I just can't make it happen! Aarghhhh.....

{Insert Moment of Composure}

Dear Emerson,

Mommy's sorry to have written such a downer post for your 19th month mini-birthday. I'm just having a moment here. I hope when you read this in the future, you'll get a glimpse of just how much we missed you while you were not with us.

I think I dreamt about receiving pictures of you because we should be getting some new ones of you soon. I can't wait for those. Once I get them, it'll give me a bit more strength to keep on carrying on until we can finally come for you. Pictures of your adorable, sweet face have a way of doing that - giving me strength and hope when nothing else can.

Happy 19 months, our lovely Emerson. We love you!

Mommy & Daddy

little shoes

this is emerson's shoe collection thus far.

just sitting here waiting for her little feet to come home and fill them.

One Year Ago Today...

... we saw your sweet, precious face for the very first time.

... our social worker called to say "I have a referral for you!"

... daddy and I stood by the kitchen counter with the phone in between us on speaker as we listened to her tell us about you. We stared wide-eyed at each other with our hearts pumping and our thoughts racing a million miles a minute.

... we hung up the phone and ran to turn on our computer because an email with your picture was headed our way.

... we couldn't sleep as we tossed and turned with excitement.

One year ago today our world turned upside down and inside out as we learned that you were in it. All the way on the other side of the world, you were living, eating, sleeping, playing. I remember parts of that day so clearly like it just happened yesterday. I can actually hear the phone call and remember details like "She's afraid of the dark" and "She likes having her face stroked."

One year ago today you came into our lives through a phone call and an email, and since then have taken over our hearts, our being.

Happy Referral Day, Emerson!

January Pics

"Oooooh... are those what I think they are?

More of my favorite Gerber snacks?"

"Let me test a few just to make sure..."

"Could someone please open this can for me?

My hands are a bit full..."

Our dearest Emerson,

These pictures of you are ADORABLE! You have grown so much yet again - even from your November pictures! It must be so cold in Korea. Look at your pink cheeks! I wonder if you have gloves? Mommy should have sent you some.

We realized through this set of pictures that we are "seeing" you eat for the very first time!! Even something as minute as seeing you bring your little hand to your cute little mouth means the WORLD to us.

We are thankful for being able to have a tiny glimpse of the day you got your goodies.

We love you and miss you lots and lots!

Love,

Mommy & Daddy

18 Months Old

Emerson turned 18 months last week. I can't get over how fast time flies. Well, fast when it comes to Em and her growth, but yet snail-pace slow when it comes to our wait to bring her home. Such is the adoption journey, I suppose.

Anyway, we were thrilled to receive an update on her yesterday. Some of the highlights were:

- turns two or three pages at a time (Can we say speed reader?!)

- walks upstairs holding rail and both feet on step. (LOL - that's how I've been going up and down the stairs after pulling my muscle).

- scribbles spontaneously (Future Pulitzer prize award winning author? Another Picasso?)

- imitates doing housework and other realistic activities (we're going to have another actress in the house!)

The report ended with her mentioning that she's cheerful but stubborn. LOVE IT. In fact, sounds a little (okay, a lot) like this momma.

We praise God for how well she is doing! We reeeeeaaaaally needed to hear something from Korea after the silence regarding the EP situation this month. As much as the update lifted our spirits, it made me realize I can miss her even more. I want to turn those book pages with her, draw with her, run up and down the stairs with her, play make-believe with her...

I. Just. Want. To. Be. With. Her.

eleven months

The timeline above says today marks 11 months of waiting for our little sunshine.

{Sigh}

Love You Berry Much!

Over the Christmas holidays we received THE best gift possible - a second video of our little sunshine. The video was super short. I think we were spoiled from our first video of her which was about 12 1/2 minutes long. This one was about 4 1/2 minutes long. But it was still 4 minutes of pure joy.

So in our last video when Em was 11 months old, we learned that Em could wink on command. In this recent video, we learned she loves strawberries and dolls. The funny thing is I felt like I always knew this. In fact, how the topic came up was Em's foster sister mentioned that Emerson really enjoyed the snacks we sent in our last care package to her. They were Gerber's Graduates Fruit Strips and Fruit & Veggie Melts - both in berry flavors.

I've already stocked up on a bunch of the Gerber snacks to pack on our trip to Korea (which I'm praying will be sooooon). Also, I haven't been buying many toys for Emerson. But the one thing I've been collecting for her are soft dolls. Especially brunette ones. And guess what foster sister says in the video? That Emerson loves dolls. That she doesn't play with other toys much.

Coincidence? I'd like to think not! It's more of a mama's instinct for her little baby girl, don't you think?

We also learned that her foster family has been playing the video we made for, and that "she watches it with great attention." Hopefully it's helping her familiarize with our faces and voices so she'll recognize us when we meet!

The video we made and sent back in October.

We loved the video of you and miss you so "berry" much, Emerson!

The New Year

As of right now, it's 6:30 in the morning on the first day of 2012 in Korea.

Happy New Year, Emerson!!!!

It indeed will be a very happy, joyous, unbelievable year as 2012 will the year we bring Emerson home. It actually dawned on me earlier today that I made it. Made it through this year. It almost didn't seem possible at one point that I could wait another day, another week, another month until we had Emerson in our arms. Yet here we are - the very last day of 2011.

As this year winds down and I reflect back on the past 10 1/2 months, I am humbled and so thankful to God for bringing Emerson into our lives. And for surrounding us with loving friends and family to lean on. And for all my amazing adoptive mommy friends. And for Emerson's wonderful and loving foster family. I was not myself in many ways as this journey of waiting and waiting took its toll. I never cried so many tears of joy, then frustration, then joy & frustration as I did this year.

My precious Emerson,

Happy New Year my sweet and beautiful daughter.

For you it's already 2012. We did it! We made it through 2011 living on opposite sides of the world. To be honest, I'm not sure if I was living or just somehow getting by. This year was a blur of endless days of waiting for any news and/or pictures of you. I still don't know when in 2012 we'll be able to come for you, but I anticipate it will by April. That's still quite a wait, but at least I know we made it through 2011. And for some reason that revives and refreshes me and makes me feel a teeny bit excited again. I have been trying so hard not to be excited or hopeful for the past several months, but here I am again.

I am EXCITED for the new year and all that's in store for us as a family. You have been through so much, Emerson. You are strong and brave. Please save some of that strength for when we come for you. But once you are with us, we will be strong for you and will take care of you.

2012. It's going to be a huge year for our family! We're coming for you, Emerson!

Loving you with all my heart,