Our Little Sunshine

Our precious Emerson,


Today was a very sad day for mommy and daddy. Our agency notified us that Korea announced this year's visa quota and you will not be getting your's. We will not be able to travel to come for you until next year. We were originally told that we may be able to travel in December. I have tears in my eyes even as I write this. The cut-off for this year's quota is all families who were matched by end of last November. We were matched with you in February.


I called our case manager to see if there was anything we could do to see you and/or be with you while you wait for your visa to be issued. I let her know that we were planning on opening an overseas office, and now in light of today's news, we could place the office in Korea and I could work there and raise you as we both waited for your visa. As expected, she said that wouldn't be possible. I figured that'd be her answer, but I was grasping at straws. I heard sadness in our case manager's voice while talking with her. I know she wants you to be home with us, too.


Emerson, for some reason I can't give up hope that we will be able to bring you home to be with us this year. I don't know how we will be able to wait another year to see you in person, to hold you and give you long overdue hugs and kisses. To bring you home to your family where you belong.


I'm so sorry, my baby girl. I don't know why, but I feel responsible that I can't bring you home to be with us. I feel helpless right now. I know you are in wonderful hands with your foster family. I also know God is watching over you and your every breath.


You know, early this morning I was up and working on the computer by the window. It was raining off and on, and I happened to glance up right when the rain stopped and a rainbow appeared. I ran and grabbed my camera to take a picture of it.

A rainbow signifies a break in the rain and signals the sun is coming. My little sunshine, I know you are coming home and in the meantime I will be watching for the rainbows along the way.

I love you. I love you. I love you.