From Korea, with Love

Last week we received word that birthday pictures taken in Korea had arrived at our agency and they were going to forward the DVD to us via mail. SAY WHAT?? I had been pouting and having a pity party for myself because we were previously told that the agency in Korea had not taken any pictures when Em and foster mom came to pick up her birthday package.

After checking the mail incessantly for days, we finally got the dvd. We were hoping for two, and if lucky, possibly three pictures from that day. But instead we received about 20 of our birthday girl celebrating with smiles, hugs, cake, and even a mini tol celebration at her home! It was more than we imagined or hoped for on her birthday. During Em's birthday weekend when we were celebrating here, I looked at the clock constantly, wondering just what was going on halfway around the world. I wondered if we'd ever know. And now thanks to her amazing foster family, we do.

Emerson wearing the outfit we sent.

The top says "I'm the birthday girl."

They got her a hanbok!! I was so moved.

This is actually one of, if not my favorite picture. That smile!

And I love that foster mom is "hiding" in the back as she props up

Emerson for the birthday candle shot!

For her foster family to share personal pictures taken inside their home... For them to include photos of them holding her, playing with her, feeding her... To see how relaxed and happy she is with all of them... I am simply overwhelmed. Love was emanating from the pictures. We clearly saw it and felt it. They are not only her caregivers, but are her family. We vowed that even when Emerson comes home to us, we will keep them in her and our lives.

Our sweet and precious Emerson,

Thanks to your wonderful foster family, we were able to share a part of your first birthday. It looks like you had so much fun! You looked so beautiful and adorable in that lovely hanbok foster family got you. They were so nice to also dress you in the outfit we sent and even put a pretty matching hairbow on you to complete the look. While looking at the pictures on our computer, there were a couple times my breath stopped, and once I even reached out my hand to stroke your face on the screen. Daddy and I both cried happy tears as we spent hours the first night just looking at each picture over and over.

It goes without saying that we miss you to the point of heartache, and cannot wait to hold you in our arms. But now we have another reason to look forward to that day when we all come together. I can't wait to meet foster family. I want to thank them until my words run out and then I want to hear all about the stories they have of you. I know that when the time comes for us to bring you home, you will miss them so much and your little heart will ache for them. I promise to share all the wonderful stories they shared with me with you. I also promise that we will visit them again as a family one day.

We love you.

Mommy & Daddy

Praying, praying...

{Updated 7/28/11: I contacted our agency who said since most of the flooding is in the southern part of Seoul, they anticipate our agency in Korea and all the children in their care should be fine since they are in the northern part of the city. At this time, they say no news is good news. }

I am trying to stay calm right now. News about torrential rains in South Korea leading to widespread damage and death has got me so anxious and worried for Emerson and her foster family. What's making me more nervous is that early this morning I woke up from a bad dream and couldn't fall back asleep until I prayed for Emerson's safety and well-being. I hope my prayers are a shield of protection around her and her foster family.

It's so hard being apart from her and not being able to protect her. Please pray for the safety of our little girl and for all those affected in Korea.

Our little Winker ;)

Guess who got a video of their daughter this week???

It's a 12-minute video taken the same day Emerson had her pictures taken in her red outfit. That's the day she came in to meet our agency's Korea director last month. Emerson was sweet and doing her own thing and didn't seem to care for all the attention on her. Her foster mom and social worker were doing their best to get her to play up to the camera. FM wanted her to stand and say hello. Her social worker kept telling her to wink. Yes, wink! They were singing songs to her and trying to get her to sing along and do hand movements. She didn't do any of it, lol. But through it all, she never cried or got fussy. Good girl!

It has been amazing to see her mannerisms and movements. We were hoping to hear her voice and strained our ears to finally hear a tiny "ah daw daw." Yayy! Now the kicker is halfway into the video, we finally got a wink! Her social worker kept asking her to do it and Emerson looked down and did it! That is just about the cutest thing I had ever seen!!

It was also neat to hear the background chatter and to hear Gene and I referred to as her Ab-pah and Um-mah ("daddy" and "mommy"). I can't get enough of that! Our director showed Emerson the photo album we sent and said "Look! Here's your Ab-pah. And your Um-mah." Emerson looked through the album with her FM, too.

It was heartwarming to see the interaction between her and FM. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it right now. FM is amazing with her. If Emerson felt unsure about anything, she'd immediately look at FM for her reaction. There's a scene where FM lifts Emerson and lays her laying down onto her lap. They're both laughing. Such a sweet moment... and I hope they have a lot of those.

I've stayed up late the past two nights just watching the video over and over on a loop. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This video then is priceless.

I love you my little winker. ;)

Birthday cont'd...

Emerson, here are a few more pictures from your birthday last week. It was a joyous weekend filled with celebration!

Close-up of purty cupcakes.

Lots of fun books for us to read with you. And l@@k... PRINCESS toys!!

Thank you, Auntie Claudia!

Soft kitty and even softer blankie.

Thank you, Auntie Hedy!

Mommy and friends (your aunties!) celebrating your birthday at dinner.

Today's the BIG DAY

Happy First Birthday, our beautiful and precious Emerson!!

I tossed and turned all night in anticipation of today... counting down the hours and then the minutes to when it turned 12:01 AM in Korea. Although we can't physically be there to celebrate this very special day with you, we are right there with you in heart and spirit.

Not only are we are, but your grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins all joined us in celebrating with you today.

Happy first birthday, my love.

In Exactly One Week...

... our baby turns one!!!

First birthdays (called "Tol" in Korean) are usually celebrated with much fanfare in Korea. There's a ceremony in which the babies are dressed in traditional Korean dress and items are laid out in front of the baby to see which one she's drawn to. For instance, if she picks a pencil it means she'll grow up to be scholarly. Or if she chooses a microphone, she'll be an entertainer. It's all for fun, of course. The birthday card I made for her signifies this Korean tradition.

Our case manager said that the birthday package we sent her at the agency in Korea and will be picked up right around her birthday. I sent toys, a couple outfits, a muslin cotton blankie for the warm summer days, and books...

The Tol Ceremony is fun because it gives people a lighthearted glimpse of what the birthday girl may grow up to be. In many ways, every day since Emerson came into our lives has been like a Tol Ceremony as I wonder and dream about all the wonderful things my daughter is and will grow up to be. What personality traits and talents did God give her? What will she be passionate about? What will be her path?

I can't wait to discover all the answers with her.

11 Months Old...

Happy 11 months, our lovely Emerson!

You are always in our hearts and thoughts, but this past month I especially felt like you were almost physically right there alongside with me.

You were there with me during the late nights I stayed up making your special first birthday card or writing a heartfelt letter to foster mom. I would often look up and see your cute little face right in front of me.

You were there with me as I went out shopping for clothes to send to you as you outgrow your baby clothes.

You were there with me as I picked out your first walking shoes. I saw you so clearly taking those cute baby waddle steps.

You were there with me as I wandered through the toy store aisles for hours imagining what toys you would love playing with.

You were there with me as I shopped for books that I hope you'll enjoy looking through as you sit on foster mom's lap. I flashed forward to a year from now and saw what kind of books you and I would enjoy together.

Now that both the care and birthday packages have been wrapped and shipped off to you, I hope and pray that as you receive and play with what we sent, that we become more alive and real to you. That you feel our love radiating from the care packages. That somehow you can feel that you are being missed so much halfway around the world. That, my dearest Emerson, is our wish for you on your 11 month birthday.

We love you.

It's the little things...

...that can make your day.

Here's my little thing:

To anyone else, it's just a ziploc bag, so what, right? Well, for us it feels like we hit the jackpot because these are the EXPANDABLE BOTTOM ziploc bags... meaning we can send even that much more in our care packages to Emerson! WOOT WOOT!!

These were quite hard to find, by the way. I searched high and low for months at every local Target, grocery store, CVS, etc.. I finally found them online at Costco. Of course, now I have about a hundred of them, but it's all good. I'm just so happy to have found them! :)